What's in a name
by Maudlin Street
Summary: "Who are you?" What if Booth really didn't remember Brennan and what would she do to cope? Brennan's POV and a trip down memory lane and a look at the first time they met.


STORY: "What's in a name"

AUTHOR: Maudlin Street

TIMELINE: A few weeks after the season 4 ender "The end in the beginning"

RATINGS: K+

DISCLAIMERS: Mine? I believe that's a 'no'…

AUTHORS NOTES: OK, where to start? When I watched "The end in the beginning" the first time I was confused, to say the least. "Who, where and why" was frequently asked and I was kind of disappointed at the Brennan/Booth interaction and I laughed out loud when it turned out that Booth had amnesia because it was just too much of a "been there, done that" kind of thing!

Now, the next morning, I watched it again and I changed my mind. It's bloody brilliant! Although, if it had been up to me, I would have played the 'amnesia card' just a little bit longer. And you know what… I just have!

So, here's my take; what if Booth still had amnesia and also a look at how they met for the first time. Brennan's POV.

* * *

It took awhile.

It took a whole lot of moments to realize that all of the moments were gone. Just gone. Booth had done what people sometimes wished were possible. To start completely over with a clean slate. Where the options were endless and 'what was' was all gone and forgotten. You could be a whole new person and be freed from sin. All past wrongs vanished in the haze and you were innocent like a newborn baby. Wouldn't that be just wonderful? But if people really understood what it meant to leave everything behind and begin again, Brennan wondered if they would be so keen.

Her life had not been a walk in the park and there certainly were moments in her past that she wouldn't wish upon her greatest enemy, but the thing was: it was hers. Her life, her moments that shaped her into the person she was today. Flaws and all. Life was all about ups and downs and how three little words uttered in a hospital bed could take her from one end of the scale to the other in a heartbeat, she would never understand.

What was _that_ all about? Of course she understood. One minute there, then gone. As simple and horrifying as that. It was like life and time was slipping through her clutching hands and she wanted to scream until her lungs burst, that it was not fair. Not fair! But that was not her forte; emotions. It was Booth's. And she'd lost _him_ forever. Or rather, she'd lost the Booth she knew, and who knew her.

But what was in a name? He had been told that she was Temperance Brennan, but that was not the name she was waiting for.

Brennan's eyes watered up for what seemed like the millionth time these past weeks and she was so tired. So tired of crying and so tired of this helpless feeling. She didn't do well with helpless and she had the urge to kick someone's ass, but couldn't quite make out who this someone should be. Sweets would probably be the easiest target, but it would be no sport in hitting a boy and Angela would definitely use the 'catfight attack' on her, and that wouldn't be pretty for either party. Brennan wrapped the blanket tighter around her as she shifted position on the couch. Hodgins, she thought, would never fight with 'a girl', as he would put it and Cam… well, she once threatened to go 'New York' on them and although Brennan didn't exactly know what that meant, it sounded dangerous. Not that _that_ ever bothered her before, but she'd learned not to pick a fight if she wasn't sure she would come out on top. Catwoman vs. Wonder Woman. Who would actually win? She smiled a little.

One of her student's maybe? Wendell –no, too valuable. Mr. Nigel-Murray –he would probably _explain_ the concept of fighting and bore her to death before the actual ass-kicking could take place. Daisy –yes please, but she would surrender in awe and Fisher, she thought about it for a second, –it would just make him way too happy! Brennan chuckled at this little fantasy. And Booth –he would know in a second…

She stopped. One hand went up to cover her mouth and the smile was all gone. Booth would never _know_ anything anymore. That 'not fair' feeling came over her again and she counted a million and one as tears began to fall silently.

Brennan sighed, and as she slid further down under the blanket, she did what she had been doing every day since it all happened –ponder over the memories they shared, that from now on only were hers to remember. It was a sweet torture, but she was afraid she would lose them. Every day she played some all-time-favorite memory in her head and sometimes she added a new one. The pick of the day was when she met him for the first time.

"_Whoa, whoa, you gonna be carrying that __**with**__ you?!"_

_She looked down at the skull she was holding in her hand._

"_Do you have another suggestion?"_

_He frowned and gave her an annoyed look._

"_Yeah, you know, get some of those squinty people down here and make them deal with it. Isn't that what we're supposed to use them for?"_

_She made the quick observation that he obviously had an attitude to match that ridiculous, in-your-face belt buckle of his, but she had no time for boys who were trying to act like men. She had a job to do and this conversation was just slowing her down. _

"_Excuse me; I'm having a hard time following your train of thoughts", she said as she carefully placed the mud dripping skull in the bag. "Who are these 'squinty people'?_

_She watched as he raised his eyebrows at her and placed hands on hips, allowing that belt buckle to scream even more loudly. _

"_**You're**__ having a hard time following?!" He chuckled. "You should really try it from this side of the field!"_

"_Agent Booth, we are standing in a __**swamp**__ and once again you lost me."_

_Something in his eyes sparkled and he had to ask._

"_Are you for real?!"_

_She frowned._

"_Well of course I am real! What kind of stupid question is that? I thought I was supposed to be assisted by a special agent from the F.B.I. May I ask; what's so special about you? You ask silly questions that only requires obvious answers, you don't know the difference between a swamp and a field and you have yet to tell me what a 'squinty people' are!"_

_His__ brown eyes darkened until they were flashing in a dangerous shade of black and slowly he approached her until he was standing a little too close for comfort. When he spoke the voice was low but very clear._

"_First of all; you're here to assist __**me**__, not the other way around. Secondly; silly questions do not always lead to a silly answer. Thirdly; a field makes me sneeze, a swamp ruins my twelve hundred dollar suit. That's how I know the difference. A' squint' is more of lab rat than a human being who spends all their time looking for evidence under the microscopythingy because they're too afraid to connect with the real world and last, but not least," he made a pause and looked her straight in the eyes", what it is that's so special about me; you just keep on guessing. It'll keep you on your toes."_

Brennan couldn't help but to produce a small smile at the memory. She had been so angry at the time that she'd told Goodman that 'lending her out to the F.B.I ever again' was out of the question. Little did she know that in Goodman's world that outburst was like raising her hand and volunteering free willingly. "You never know what some co-operation could lead to Dr. Brennan", he had told her as he signed the papers.

No indeed, she never would have guessed.

"_You just keep on guessing. It'll keep you on your toes."_

_He didn't know then, but he was about to find out that she never backed down from anything. Especially not a challenge of that caliber._

"_Special agent Booth", she said as if the words tasted bad in her mouth. "And I'm going to use the term 'special' lightly." And then she emphasized her words. "I am a forensic anthropologist and I am brilliant." She paused for a moment to let him contemplate the sheer meaning of that statement, but he seemed annoyingly unimpressed._

"_Did you hear me agent Booth? I am the best in my field of work."_

"_Ah, b__ut we're standing in __**swamp**__ Dr. Brennan", he said daringly. "I thought you geniuses could tell the difference."_

_The look she gave him could've killed a horse._

"_Come on", he said apparently not too interested in keeping his good health, "what's so brilliant about you? You work in a lab and dead people, what, speak to you?! That's great! And by the way" he added," I just loved you in that movie with Bruce Willis."_

_That was it._

"_This. This is what I do", she said with a raised voice as she picked up a bone from the pile she had earlier gathered on the ground. "I do bones, bones is what I do. I can tell you how and when this person died just by examining the tiniest fragment of a bone. We 'lab rats' save your ass on a daily bases and all we are getting in return is you being condescending and rude!"_

_She couldn't remember the last time she had been this mad. Just looking at him and that damn belt buckle made her furious. She took a step towards him and made her last statement very clear. "I sleep bones, I think bones, I breathe bones", she said not letting him go with her eyes. "Bones is what I am and __**that's**__ what makes me brilliant!"_

_The look she found in his eyes after she had finished her speech left her amazed. She had never been good at reading people, well not alive ones anyway, but she could've sworn that what she saw was admiration. He leaned in just a little too close again and while a pleased smile was spreading across his face he said with half a whisper:_

"_Lady, you just bought yourself a nickname." _

***

So, what's in a name anyway?

The signal startled her and she woke up with a start. At first she focused her vision which was blurred by sleep at the front door before realizing that the noise was coming from the phone that was lying on the coffee table. She hesitated. Picking up meant dealing with the world and she just let it keep on ringing. She counted to seven before she finally succumbed.

"Brennan." Her voice wavered a little at the end.

"Dr. Brennan? This is Dr. Allard from the hospital."

She closed her eyes. _"No, no, no, no, no"_, that inner voice shouted at her. _"You should've let it ring!"_

"Dr. Brennan? Are you still there?"

She cleared her throat.

"Yes. I'm here.

"Well, I'm calling on behalf of agent Booth."

Her heart sank.

"What's wrong?" The words left her mouth riding on a whisper and she clasped the phone a little tighter.

But the tone in Dr. Allards voice calmed her, ever so slightly.

"No, I didn't mean to alarm you Dr. Brennan, agent Booth is doing just fine. In fact it was _he_ who asked me to call you. He was very anxious to talk to you, but…" The doctor hesitated. "It's very common in these kinds of cases that patients ramble on about things that have no connection to the real world. It's a way for them to start making a connection to their life and memories previous to the amnesia." He sighed. "We had some trouble understanding him, but maybe you can."

Thoughts of every kind were spinning around in her head. She couldn't even make sense of if this was good or bad news. She had to know.

"What did he want?"

"Well", Dr. Allard made a pause. "He was very persistent. He wanted to talk to… bones. Does that mean anything to you, Dr. Brennan?"

Brennan dropped the phone in a heartbeat. She could hear Dr. Allards voice calling her, but there was no time to waste. As she made her way towards the front door, grabbing her coat and keys on the way that sentence kept playing over and over in her head.

"_Does that mean anything to you Dr. Brennan?"_

No, it didn't mean anything.

It meant _everything._

* * *


End file.
